There’s a scripture (Ok, don’t tune me out here) in the Bible where Peter is asked to step out of a boat and walk on water (Matthew 14:22). Many evangelicals focus on the fact that Peter sank when he took his eyes off of Jesus. In other words, they pin point Peter’s folly of focusing on his surroundings instead of keeping his eyes on the only One who could help. I take a different view of that passage. See, there are two things you have to realize. One, there was wind and waves – not the best conditions to get out of a boat. Two, there were eleven other men in that boat. Count them, eleven other men, and it was only Peter who had the courage to get out of the boat despite the turmoil around him.
It’s 2009 and in my 31 years of life I have come so far. Who would have thought that at this age I’d be a wife, mother of two, and a founder of an organization? Considering that I’m black, a woman, came from a broken home, humble beginnings, at the age of 12 get diagnosed with Nephrotic Syndrome, go through this progressive disease, have kidney failure, come out with a healthy kidney from my mom in ‘94, and even now thriving while going through failure again (this 50 some-odd yr old kidney- my “good ole’ girl” – has given me 15 years of good times!)– I’ve beat some pretty tough statistics. But why? What kept me going?
Some say that I had “drive and determination” – ok. Others say I was “lucky” – alright. I say not only did I have faith and believed, but I dared to get out of the boat!
So I have a message for you dear patient. In spite of your circumstances and set backs, you have to see something bigger for yourself. Don’t settle in the “patient with kidney disease” boat. There are untold possibilities for you in your life, and they certainly aren’t going to be found there. If you want those possibilities, the only way you can get them is to get out of your boat.
Well before you “jump ship” you need a plan. The first thing you have to do is get well. Know that a healthy mind plus a healthy body can help equal success. Own your disease, and take responsibility for your recovery. Get involved with groups to educate yourself, groups that teach how to create your possibilities, and most importantly get involved with your health team in making your health decisions. Become an advocate for your own health care.
Second, please decide that you are going to be a victor in this situation. When you get out of the boat, you have to be ready for what comes blowing across the water. You don’t have the safe covering of the masts, or the option of running below deck. When you are on that water, you have to bring your “A” game. No time for fear – no time for doubt. If you are going to get through the wind, the crashing waves and other things the rough water can bring, you’ve got to be ready to fight. And not only fight, but to win. Of course, there were times when you will get wet, blown over – even almost drowned by circumstances, but you have to remember, you are here to win.
Third, surround yourself with a great boat crew. Face it, when you decide to get out of the boat that is a decision you must make on your own. People can’t come out onto the water with you, but they can cheer you on from the boat. My boat crew was my family, friends and medical staff. And because those particular people are so close, it makes them easier for you to push away. You know, sometimes when we are sick, we get angry and question why did it happen to me. Well I ask you – why not? Don’t you think there is a bigger plan at work? And who else is going to be strong enough to take this challenge on but you? There’s a reason you are here living with this. Don’t be angry and push people away. Do yourself a favor and let the people who love you most help you through to the other side. Share your fears and your hopes together then work through them together. Believe me when I say, it makes staying out on the water much easier.
Last keep your eyes forward and stay focused. Tap into your possibility in life. Where can you leave your mark? Who best can you help? I knew in my heart my calling was to reach out to other young patients going through kidney disease. Just like I wished I had someone who knew what swelling felt like, and what being tired and still having to keep up grades felt like – I wanted to be that person for someone else. I realized I had an experience that not too many people can share – and I wanted to do that for someone. Hence, I surrounded people around me and we developed The Kidney Coaching Foundation (http://www.thekcf.org).
So I ask you patient – are you stuck in the boat? The winds are blowing, the water is wet, but you have to have the courage to….
GET OUT OF THE BOAT!
Original Article appears in the Fall 08 issue of Kidney Care
Tags: courage, faith, fear, kidney disease, patient, support
